yukes.com >> Lazy Jay

An old friend called me a few weeks ago and told me that he licensed “For Dummies” for his hot sauce business. Congrats Jon! (Good story about how we met to come some other day…) Anyways, check out the art work he sent me:

I knew it was gonna be a lot of work to get it all done. And wasn’t sure if he was gonna be able to pull it off in time for Christmas…

Well, no shit!
I just got an email, and from the looks of it,
things are moving full speed!

Jon’s a good guy, and I wanna help him out,
but I’m super stacked busy for the Holidays…

Is there anyone that has some time?
Drive some traffic, and sell some sauce?
Which network would you suggest he work with?
Even whats the right business model?

AD REPS call me if u want his details!

Hot Sauce For Dummies

Uhm… WTF?! My buddy just did it again!

He logged into my account, shorted the Australian dollar,
and 24 hours later, up another $20K…

I really don’t have time to investigate how the fuck this guy has his currencies so dialed in… but don’t mind that it keeps moving in the right direction!

Is anyone else killing it trading FOREX?

Some of the smartest people I know recently invested in a private placement for a software intelligence startup.  I’m ready to follow them into it blind.

But this is a really funky market right now… Dow down 427 today, closes below 8000 for the first time in years.  Google traded as high as 750, now its 280.  Glad I no longer hold it!  And it seems a hell of a lot cheaper now, but is it really that cheap?  Advertizing growth is just up a few points year over year, and GOOG still getting P/E of 17 in a fucked up market.

I had a meeting with Kevin of XY7.com yesterday.  He’s very intelligent, and talks faster than I do! They have beautiful offices in Las Vegas.  And he told me how he’s scooping up houses in foreclosure, doing short sales and grabbing them for 60-70% off.  Houses that will rent and pay themselves off inside of 5 years.

My buddy invests in options.  Selling naked puts and calls, hedging his moves up and down.  Stock market volatility index at all time highs, he’s making cash.

For those that have cash, there’s all sorts of things to think about…
So tell me this, what are you investing in right now?

I just stumbled upon Shoemoney’s post about Social Engineering. And it reminded me of my younger self — over 10 years ago — when I dropped out of high school…

Let me tell you a little story… When I was 16, I was a little different — picture young, scrawny kid with a mouth full of braces. Couldn’t get a date to save my life. (Ask about me.) Oh — and that didn’t bother me. I was busy trying to make money. Girls not on the radar.

I figured out how to hack into computers, ways to infiltrate organizations, and the easiest way is almost always social engineering — you know, talking your way in. I dropped out of high school on the basis that I could make money hacking full time…

My first target was a large hospital. (Think of the medical records… like knowing which celebritys have herpes and shit.)

• First – I forged a resume. This was pre-Monster.com era, but just go on a job site and download somebody else’s resume that would be qualified for the position. And edit it to suit your needs.

• Second – Applied for an entry level job at the organization. Good enough resume, and you’ll get a call back.
• Third – Interview your interviewer. (Uhmm… this should be a general rule.) But yeah, if you stop simply answering the questions. And have a normal conversation with your interviewer. You can lead your interviewer to disclose all sorts of interesting insider information!

At this point, I had learned enough information to begin my attack… I called up a small affiliate drug laboratory, and IMPERSONATED my interviewer. Telling the resident Doctor I was about to send a young computer repair guy out to his drug test lab.

I dressed up in a shirt and tie, put pens in my pocket, carried a clipboard, and some nerdy computer books. Drove out to the lab and introduced myself to the Doctor. He had been expecting me, and gave me full access to his computer.

His computer was networked with the hospitals main database. And about 30 mins later, I had full access to everything…

A week later, I sent over a full proposal disclosing several vulnerabilities in their system. And offered my consulting services to fix it for them!

Looking back — this was probably straight extortion. (And now hackers can even get prosecuted as terrorists… fuck that shit) I’m grateful I survived my teen years… and the social engineering skills have benefited me for years on end…

Well actually $18,425 but who’s counting?
And BETTER he did it just to show me he can!

My buddy trades FOREX for a living. I didn’t know people actually did that. Really — I thought it was a scam. But this guy balls harder than almost anybody I know.

I called him out one night. He basically told me to go fuck myself. But I kept messing with him and told him to prove it. He was like “give me your password”. I was like “XXXXXXXX” (edited to save the innocent.) And no shit, he dropped a nice hit in my account the next day.

LOL I’m gonna try and piss him off again, maybe he’ll drop another 20K in my account!!

I saw Shoemoney’s blog about Jimdo. And remembered that I had implemented Jimdo’s Dropr PHP message queue system.

I had searched a while back for a PHP message queue. A message queue allows you to send a message over a distributed network, and pull the messages for later processing. So you can defer time-consuming tasks and have them reliably completed later.

A message queue is a common enterprise pattern, that is well supported in languages like Java. However, in PHP, I didn’t find a clear leader:

• Zend Framework has one (albeit not real fast)
• ActiveMQ – complex
• all sorts of PHP -> JMS bridges
• beanstalkd – highly performant (but its all in memory, so not fault-tolerant)
• Dropr – super easy to use, and decently fast

Jimdo had a need for a distributed message queue. So they created Dropr, and open sourced it to the world! They use a local file + TCP based transport model. Which is kind of similar to how Email / SMTP transports. Its a simple model to digest and actually works really well.

Out of the box Dropr advertizes performance of 150 messages per second. But after some profiling and optimization. (Think xdebug + kcachegrind.) I was able to reach local transport performance of 3000 messages per second.

With Dropr + Memcached – I was able to achieve an interesting reality — a website that operates fully functional, both Read + Write, while the Database is down! When the database returns, the messages fill in automatically! Definitely check out Dropr for your distributed messaging needs.

And a big thanks to Jimdo for giving back to the community!!

I used to read a lot online.. a lot lot. About 18 months ago, I realized that it was time to start testing and applying all the shit I learned. So I started being more agressive, and making moves online. And now I’m so busy that its hard to keep up with the industry chatter.

And that’s a good thing. If there’s one thing I could suggest to anyone of you, it would be to read less and do more. Fuck what they all say. Figure out something for yourself. Grow and experience life for a moment, instead of living through someone else’s virtual bubble.

Now — to contradict myself — here it is, 11PM Saturday night, laying on my couch with a beautiful woman by my side. My ADD won’t stop, need some extra input… so I pop open Google Reader (yeah — I know I don’t have any game!) Anyways, I read this post by Quadzilla, that’s getting me all spun up on a Brazilian vacation!

I’m 3 weeks late on this breaking news. But Quadzilla from SEOblackhat is holding another bad ass super event during Carnival in Rio! Its still 5000 Euro — but the way the dollar has moved in the last couple months — its about 25% off compared to his last event!
Here’s the 3 month chart EUR/USD:

Google calculates the trip cost @ $6373 USD! Enjoy the dollar’s new found power and book this trip now!

Never been to Brazil before.  And I wanted to join Quadzilla on his last event — but was wrapped up working.   Not now though!  I’ve contacted Quadzilla and am getting my spot locked up.

QUADZILLA: Nice swagger bro. And appreciate you showing me how to tax write off the hottest parties!